Heartbroken? Bad breakup? Dumped? Feel cheated on?
Afraid to move on? Don’t know what to do?
You know what to do. At this point, you know what’s right, what’s wrong, what you should do and what you shouldn’t. But you’re heart is confused and your brain can’t think because of the pain your heart is trying to reject. So, even though you would know what exactly to say if someone else is going through this, when you’re the one going through, you become blind.
So I’m gonna help you.
These are some of the things that you should follow after a breakup.
I have heard people time and again say, “how can I forget him? I love him”. Yes I get that. But if you have to move on, you have to start trying to forget the guy. When you say, ‘how can I forget him’ you are not even trying, and when you dont try, you keep holding on to him and the memories which will not allow you to move on. Granted, it’s not easy for girls to let go of anything emotionally, but it’s not always like that for guys. So when you still hold onto him while he’s trying to move on, it hurts you, but what’s over is over. Him moving on or not is not gonna change the situation. There comes a point where you HAVE to let go. Eventually it won’t be easy but it will get easier.
Some, even after break up, hold on to memories of him, so that, you can, in that heartbreak, attempt for a few seconds to live in that time when you were happy. That might work for a while but in the long run it will make it more difficult for you to move on. Let all that stuff go. Looking at his gifts, cards, photos, is fine for a while, but it’s nothing but temporary happiness. Following his statuses in facebook or any other social media, noticing he’s happy and he’s moved on, will just crush your heart. It will make you feel that he’s moved on even though you haven’t and he doesn’t care when you still do. All those facts don’t matter. It won’t change the fact that it’s over between you too. The sooner you realize that the better.
It’s obvious that you’ll miss him. We’re not robots, for God’s sakes. But always always telling your friends that you miss him might not be the best idea. Friends are ready to help you in whatever way they can, but instead of going with their jokes and with their stories if always you’re thinking about him and missing him you’re friends may not always take it the best way. Ofcourse they know you miss him and they’ll be worried about you if you don’t say anothing to them so it’s okay to let them know occasionally that you so miss him, but, other times, try to go on with what they’re doing, get in on the fun, laugh with them, mix in, share activities, do stuff with them. That’s what will help you move on, rather than, sitting around all day, always depressed. If you’re friends attempt to make you smile, appreciate their efforts. They’re not being insensitive, they just want to help you take they guy off your mind atleast when you’re around them.
Don’t try to act cool and agree to being friends with the guy. If you can’t emotionally do it, just tell him. It will save a lot of pain which you will get afterwards otherwise. Some girls can really manage it, in the case they were friends with they guy before or they are emotionally okay with the break up and have really admitted the fact they can’t be in a relationship due to certain reasons and can still enjoy each other’s company as friends. If you really wanna try being friends but it doesn’t work out and ends up giving you pain, tell the guy that you need to maintain distance instead of being quiet and hoping the pain gets easier in the later stages. It won’t and it never will. You’re fooling yourself. You’re trying too hard to be strong. But sometimes, being strong is letting go and saying that you need to maintain that distance.
Just because it’s been a bad breakup and you’re hurt doesn’t mean you can go hurt other people. Also doesn’t mean you can start bad habits or go drinking to take away the pain. It may be a temporary solution and you may really feel like feeling anything other than the pain is better, it’s wrong. The pain will come back if you keep avoiding it. Also, DON’T try getting back together with your ex or getting in a relationship with a someone you barely know. An ex is an ex for a reason. It didn’t work out in the past and it may never work out. And the guy you barely know, even if he is a good guy, he’s just rebound for you. Getting in a relationship when you’re emotionally disturbed is never a good idea. You may just be using him to move on and end up hurting his feelings instead. If you really think you may grow to love the guy, or if you think it will work out with your ex or you know you’re ready to enter into a strong and sound relationship, just think twice and make sure you’re emotionally stable.
You are not alone. Always have a friend to share things with. You may have to fake a smile to the world but you don’t have to do that with your friends. Don’t close yourself off. If you’re friends are not being supportive, then you have got to find the one that will. It’s not needy to ask for help, some advice, some motivational words to move on. The people who truly love you, won’t mind at all. If there IS no one that will come help you because they’re not familiar with the situation, there’s always the internet. Write your feelings down somewhere and someone will come to help. You can even google image search ‘move on’ quotes, ‘heartbreak’ quotes. It might help more that you think
Enjoy family occasions, be excited for everyone’s birthday celebrations, go shopping, go do silly things with your friends, do what you love and be happy. Just because your relationship is over, doesn’t mean everything else is. It may take a while but when you get a chance to do fun things and be happy and get excited and LIVE, just do it. Don’t wait for tomorrow to be happy. Happiness is today. And happiness refuses to be delayed.
No matter what you’re facing right now things are going to get better. The good times are temporary so are the bad times. This was the wrong guy, but eventually you’re gonna find the right guy, and you’re going to be happy. But this doesn’t mean you need a guy to be happy. That’s not the way it works. Happiness depends on you. You need to move on and close the chapter that’s not going to take you anywhere and start looking for things that will. Remember that it’s just a chapter that’s over, not the entire story. Future is uncertain. You’ll have your ups and downs. But believe that after every downs you will get up. Face the world with confidence in your eyes and smile on your lips. Show everyone that nothing can ever break you down completely.
Yes, you’re gonna face bad times. Yes, you’re gonna fall, Yes, you’re gonna get up.